I intend no offense by the title, I am just struck by a conundrum that the simple fact of people actually seeing what I post on here: you see, I’m a people pleaser, and as such I want to make everyone happy though that is impossible, and the thought of having followers, people who will potentially see what I’ve written or drawn, is at the same time incredibly encouraging and terrifying. Knowing that people will be watching, motivates a certain amount of competency in whatever it is I put on here, whether it be writing or art. I can’t help but feel, again, a nagging, a pulling in two directions; one saying, “There are people who are actually interested in what you have to say, or at least what you draw. Keep going!” and the other saying, “You’d better not fuck up! Maybe this isn’t for you.”
For some, that might not be an issue. Some might have no problems with creating something and putting it out there for all to see, whether or not it’s their best. I’m not this “some.” Even as I write this I’m having second thoughts, that I should turn back, just delete what I have and go on with the day. This blog, though, is an attempt at ameliorating some problems I have with social anxiety. I know this is about as far as one could get from any actual social interaction, but having tried the real thing to no avail, I thought I’d try something different. And at least I might be able to learn something along the way.
So, if you happen to be reading this, and if you’re so inclined, give me some feedback however you might see fit. It would be greatly appreciated.
I hope everyone has a great day.